January 2012
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I NEED to buckle back down. I lost 18 lbs… and now have gained 3-4 back.
UGH. So I’m 153.
GWs:
January 27- 149
Feb 11th- 142.
I lost 20 lbs in 2011
Here comes 20 more in 2012! Cheers ya’ll.
November 2011
7 posts
daretolose18 asked: I'm soooo sorry you have food poisoning! I had it a month or two ago. Literally the worst thing I've ever gone through. I couldn't even keep water down, and if that's how bad yours is then I have advice. Coke really helped me, kept my stomach feeling ok and I actually was able to keep it down. Maybe see if someone can get you some? I hope you feel better soon :) <3
I have food poisoning.
Can’t stop throwing up.
Feel HORRIBLE.
All I want to do...
is eat an entire jar of nutella. With saltines.
Maybe it’s a good thing I have roommates, otherwise I’d probably be walking to the store right now.
Ughhhhhhhhhhhh Sunday night blues.
Just had a first kiss in the moonlight. ; )
mynewreality asked: Congrats on your weight-loss!!! So proud of you!
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Eeeeek!!!!
You guys… I weigh 153.8!!!! This is my lowest weight in 4 years and means that I have lost exactly 15 lbs in 2011!!
I feel AMAZING. And I can’t WAIT to hit the 140’s.
Ha, also, a particular boy may have guessed my weight to be between 125 and 135 (he’s horridly honest about his thoughts, so it’s not like he was trying to spare my feelings). Who’s feeling...
Oh fluttery feelings...
Have been spending SO much time with a guy friend. Just got back from a long two hour walk- after everyone else had left our group at the bars and go home, I decided to walk home (he drove) and asked if he wanted to walk home with me and then I’d walk him back to his car (no, this doesn’t make sense… and yes, he said yes!). We just walked and chatted the whole time. We are so...
October 2011
29 posts
Woo!
Down to 156… IE I have lost 12 lbs total. I can be proud if I want to be.
UGH
Ever try to organize something for two different groups of friends and your crush?
Disaster.
I’m not even sure that anyone (or I) wants to go.
But then I’m worried that if I don’t organize it, someone will be sad it didn’t happen.
And THIS is why I take no initiative
I am sad.
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You know when you upload a ton of pics to FB and you just can’t stop looking at yourself? Like, who IS that? She looks nothing like the person I feel like. Not that I don’t like what she looks like, but she has nothing to do with me. It’s like a complete dissociation in every way.
Now, what does that mean???
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Agghhhh going away for the weekend with friends I “sort of” know.
Sometimes I just want to be a hermit because I get so damned scared of social situations. No one believes this of me.
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I just want to be called skinny.
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Plan for tomorrow:
Natural foods. Nothing processed. No sugar. Green tea. Also, 1.5 hrs of power yoga.
Oof, I am soooo tired. I need to learn to go to bed earlier! If only so that I don’t stay awake at night stressing.
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What I have to REALIZE
is that I always always always want to eat. “Just giving in a little” when I’m not hungry just equals a binge.
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Damn you ice cream.
NEVER a good decision.
Threw it out. I don’t care what anyone thinks. It’s like icy cocaine (<- not that I have ever had cocaine haha).
Just want to get tomorrow’s work done, go for a long run in the 80 degree weather and relaxxxxx.
Time for bed.
My anxiety is out of control. I am just going crazy right now. I know that means I should just go to bed…
Things I want
To feel like a gazelle instead of an ox.
To not be afraid of my body and its pudge.
To not binge.
To not eat sugar, as it makes me sick.
To get into grad school.
To treat all people with empathy and acceptance.
To spend more time with my family.
To never lose touch with my connection to nature.
To never turn down a dance party (not that I ever do now!!!)
To never tell myself I’m not...
Graawwrrr
One more day of roommate annoyances. Sigh. SO ready to go back to living alone!!
Have been walking all weekend… but have also been eating a lot. Bad thing about living with roommates? They give you weird looks when you throw out ice cream…
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Baaaaad karma… am totally sick today. Blegh.
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I'm sick of people saying to try and be "healthy"...
I AM healthy. I can hike 10 miles in the mountains with a pack on. I can dance all night into the early hours of the morning. I can do two hours yoga at a time. I love fruits and vegetables, I never drink soda, I haven’t had fast food since 2009.
I’m NOT thin. So yeah, I’m trying to be. It’s a different process. It’s frankly not as glamorous as reading Self...
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Day 13
Payback for having the most fun night ever (umm, guess who got ranked “best legs” in the bar? Hahaha, this girl), is swollen lymph nodes and achiness. 1700 calories today and extreme tiredness. Even my face looks unwell- blotchy and blah. Honestly though, I’d do it again. Life is about the experiences, not about habits and routines and playing it safe.
Watching Glee with my...
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Day 12
What a night! Went to grab a drink with a girlfriend… it turned into multiple drinks… and then dancing… and ridiculousness. So much fun! Anyways, now that I’ve partied like it’s Friday, time to buckle down. 1400 food calories, 400 alcohol, 1800 total, 3 hrs walking (because I made myself walk home from the bar). I am sooooo going to have a rough morning...
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Day 11
I really am making no progress at all, it feels like. Today, walked 3 hrs (corn maze!!) and ate 1500 calories. I know that sounds like reduced calories, but with my body, that’s a “maintaining” amount, not a losing amount. Sigh. Must. Work. Harder.
However… I was the corn maze winner, finishing first!! Watched movies with the roommates afterward and am actively...
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Day 10, as in yesterday
Eep… was much too tired last night to post anything. Walked 3 hrs (thanks for not working, stupid subway), did yoga for 1.5 hrs (I was a pool of sodden laundry by the end… no bones or working muscles) but had a girl’s movie night and just… ate too much. 1800 calories total (don’t judge, I have a slow metabolism and I gain weight over 1500). Now I’m 161.8 and...
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Time for sleep. Time for SLEEP, not stressing about going out to dinner with people tomorrow night. Damn restaurants and the fact that they don’t post calories.
You know, we can put a man on the moon but we have yet to devise a device that can tell us exactly how many calories we’re consuming. Isn’t there some magic body temperature thermogenics that could do it? It could...
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Day 9
1.5 hrs dance and yoga, 2 hours walking. I am wiped out.
Watching Vampire Diaries. Damon is SMOKIN’.
September 2011
29 posts
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Oh my… as soon as I blog that I’m going to yoga…
It starts thundering out there! I’m going ANYWAYS.
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Day 8
Grrrr…. 1600 calories today.
However, going to an hour and a half of yoga tonight!
Watching battlestar galactica until then.
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Day 7
Skipped yoga for a roommate movie night… and one of my freaking roommates, who is having tele-class, wants the freaking baseball game on so he can “look at it in the background”. ASSHOLE. I hate inconsiderate people.
Walked an hour. Ate close to 1800 calories though. UGH. Trying, always trying.
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Having (another) anxiety attack.
Cake? No. Cake? No. Cake? No. Cake? No. Cake? No. Cake? No. Cake? No. Cake? No. Cake? No. Cake? No. Cake? No. Cake? No.Cake? No. Cake? No. Cake? No.
I am so tired of this being my inner monologue. I am exhausted by it. It. Never. Ends. Fuck you Cosmo- my cravings aren’t gone in 10 minutes. A glass of water doesn’t help. Nothing does.
Listening to death cab and feeling a little...
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Day 6
It’s so frustrating when “can’t” starts to run through my head. Usually, this weirdly happens in the late afternoon, when most of the day seems gone but yet a seemingly insurmountable amount remains. I start to think about how I can’t go to the gym or to yoga. I can’t go running, I’ll be too tired. I can’t do something social, I’m too tired. I can’t make my friends or family happy, as we...
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Goal for tomorrow:
NO SUGAR.